Walk in Darkness; Run in Light
Our short term desires handicap our abilities to profit in business or live in health in our personal lives. Our personal prayer petitions are all me, me, me. In God eyes we must seem like a room full of screaming children in serious need of a nap.
In the moment, my thoughts blend into my running body, the beach, and the music. I feel conclusion in my unity journey. I am one person, and a part of not apart from, the greater and lesser worlds. I may no better understand the formation of stars than I do the micro-processes going on inside my own body, but I feel attuned to it.
Amazon link to Fogelberg's Full Circle album where you can sample songs
My body/mind is moving up the beach, my creative conscious self is processing all inputs. Even while my body fatigues, chills, and adapts my soul is at peace, joyful. As I head to my beginning I think on what actions will I take. One resolution is to relate this experience with a few photos, recounting the musical accompaniment. I hope to recapture the feeling and convey the feeling. I do not wish I had someone with me. I need to be alone, want to be alone. My experience in solitude will be used to better live amongst the world afterwards.
Did I achieve the vision connection part? Am I one with God now? Of
course not, I am a limited mortal man every bit of me a part of this
world. I am as subject to the vicissitudes of this world as anyone. I
know 50 cent word, but how often do I get to use vicissitudes?
I am able to reach a closer connection; a more centered path by my
method of thought. I can live in harmony avoiding many of the pitfalls
of despair our own choices bring to us. I can try to not dwell or stay
within the searing remembrances of my failures and shortcomings.
Improving my approach to life I can walk through the rain of ills
unaffected, but no one can escape all ills. I need not burden myself
with the self-inflicted pain of agonizing over what just is.
I like my body; I am not tall, dark, and handsome. I am stocky, white haired, and old. I have learned to accept, be pragmatic in seeking solution. I learned a great insight as my father approached death; it sparked this long journey. I want to invite and include not exclude. I think we as a species are evolving and everyone can aspire to be a part of the future stage of humanity, but others cannot or will not join in humanity’s future. Seekers of truth will move to this evolution whether with faith or a belief in unbelief. I hope the religious will unite in one Supreme Being, while those troubled by the word Being will substitute Truth. How can anyone seek truth without doubt, find belief without skepticism, knowledge without testing?
I do love the Civilization games when the short quotes from historical people pop up, or as in Alpha Centauri sometimes imagined future quotes. Yes, my source on this quote from Socrates is the game; I did not translate it from original Greek texts. Socrates “I alone am the wisest of all Greeks, for I alone know, I know nothing.” My favorite fake quote in Alpha Centauri pops up after discovering String Theory “A brave little theory, and actually quite coherent for a system of five or seven dimensions -- if only we lived in one.” Academician Prokhor Zakharov, "Now We Are Alone." If we can ever know with absolute certainty all knowledge it will be in an age far distant beyond any horizon I can imagine. I am not dismissive of the current explosion of knowledge all around us; I revel in it.
The Fogelberg album ended with the two songs “Icarus Ascending” and “Earth Anthem” I did not want to listen to music at that point, I wanted to return to the everyday world within just my own thoughts. My only concern was to numbly put every thing in my pocket, so the running didn’t damage or cause anything to fall out.
The morning was fully arriving veiled by low clouds. It became clear that the highest priority for my life was to seek truth and exist in love. Hellfire and brimstone preachers have done great harm to their religious causes, the ignoble natures of our species is doing a great job of bringing hellfire and brimstone down upon ourselves. We are rapidly trying to bring hell on earth, not on earth as in heaven, as we pray. I must stand with the part of our species seeking a higher plane. The many resistant to knowledge and logic can only be reached by love filled actions. I will pursue outreach, but I will only be that noisy gong or clanging cymbal without love. When I have the most passion maintaining balance is difficult. Obstacles, obstructionists, and the disingenuous are anger producing irritations. I need to concentrate and accentuate what is good in my life. If my priorities encourage health and love in my own life, I will be more effective in reaching others. If everyone found their essential being, many of our societal problems would ebb away.
I want to address my belief in Jesus, inclusively. I suppose it is unlikely the fundamentalists are still reading this, nor are the pompous secular humanists. The phrase invented by the evangelical fundamentalists to describe non-believers. I added pompous to describe people who show no respect for fellow humans or accord them the dignity of their own convictions. Almost everything put forward as Christian especially in our media culture, has nothing to do with Jesus. All religious institutions are creations after Jesus. The rules, codes, and strictures are all inventions of Christians not Jesus. In parallel, the pompous materialists deny what any being can experience, the spirit within all things. There is awe in discovery, soul in music, and reverence in reflection. Dismissing all who seek or believe in the things unseen, unobservable, or unknown is denying all that humanity is evolving to; leaving us empty and soulless without a future. I believe Jesus is the way, truth, and life. I will not quibble in defining doctrines. As I live, learn, and grow I constantly refine. I grow deeper in knowledge and understanding. I do not dismiss either the faith of a youth or a faith held with sincerity through a long life. It doesn’t mean I believe as someone else either. If you authentically seek to evolve to the next stage of humanity, then you are in unity with me. I would suggest people form a community of Jesusons instead of Christians, but it would not stop people making rules, codifying laws, and passing judgments. Jesus was always about finding the spirit of the law not the letter of the law. Why are there so many pronouncements and dictates? I think the answer is the power of theocracy to achieve selfish goals, not the revelation of faith and truth.
Back to the body/mind world I came plodding up the beach where a few of the guests had come out on the deck leading down to the beach to take photos of the sunrise. I must have been a surprising, surely somewhat disturbing sight. I stopped snapped a couple of these last shots and headed inside. I scratched the head of the resident hotel cat, which seems more needy of attention in the off-season. As I came into the lobby area I became aware of how chilled I was, surely the oddest looking of the guests. I rather clumsily texted Nancy that I was in the lobby after a walk on the beach. I hoped her phone wouldn’t wake her. She may have worried where I had been for a couple hours. I thought I should text; one never knows with wives. Now every motel has a mandatory free breakfast. I was sitting in the area where it was being served and eaten. There are always so many foods at these breakfast nooks that are not helping me lose weight. The food bears no resemblance to my Grandmother’s kitchen. I can more easily avoid it knowing it is not worth the calories. I would not have resisted; if the biscuits and sausage gravy or fried potatoes with bacon were just like I make them. I however sat, with juice, coffee, and milk eating yogurt. I am a heavy drinker. I slowly adjusted to the normal world then went upstairs. Nancy had just gotten up. She had not seen my text, not as worried as I had assumed. My wife left to walk on the beach a last time I took a short nap, uncaring if I snored.
Later back in room
I have wondered why I would try to present this for others? I write because I feel a few others will want to understand a somewhat inscrutable person. I have tried to recapture and convey my experience. I write for my own clarity. I have listened again to the music as I ran on the elliptical. I think it all came together for a moment the other night. Alex is home from law school, having completed his first year. Nancy is off in another state doing her job, which she does well and feels is important in people’s lives. Going to the gym with Alex is like having a platinum club card. You just earn instant credibility; people assume something of the father must have passed to the son. I began my current interval approach; I call this my 4 X 15 routine with a little upper body in the breaks. I began with 15 minutes on the stair stepper. I walk a lap, do rowing machine 5 minutes, next move to 15 minutes on elliptical at 15, repeat sequence 3 times as we notate on the worship songs. I felt on top of the work out even though I had walked in thinking I was draggy. I went through my four aspects of prayer. The gratitude part was evident as I watched Alex on the floor, thought about a great wife, accomplished sons. Alex is in the top of his class, and Erik is an excellent teacher. I have a great lot to be grateful for in family, my upbringing, and my church families. This time I moved into the third segment with Joy, and finally the forth with connection and vision. Yes I have come to unity. I recognize my current fitness is still a success in process. I will always be in a continual state of being in process. If the weight doesn’t go away, I should build enough muscle to disguise it.
I will move forward in harmony, open to joy, seeking truth and
connection. I will not be immune to the ills and frustrations of this
world, but I have faith a balance can be maintained. Creation is a
wonder inspiring love. Preserving it is a part of our aspirations. I
came to these questions. How can anyone love God or love life without
seeking truth? How can anyone not aspire to love others? How can we
not reach out for the next stage in human evolution when it is easily
within our grasp?
Many of our pursuits are destined for futility. I will seek lasting
things. I end with one last Alpha Centauri quote. Capitalists (game
faction, The Morgans) “… fear what may not be purchased, for a trader
cannot comprehend a thing that is priceless.”
Sister Miriam Godwinson, "The Collected Sermons"
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Forgottonia
is a place where you can endlessly wander the lonely roads, and
never once miss the fast lane. The name Forgottonia captures an
image of a region, off the beaten path, which is very true of
Western Illinois.
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