Grandparenting Looms
March 16, 2019
Beyond love what can I offer a grandchild?
Love is essential, modeling love not just to a child but within the family. This will build deep bonds, but occasionally a grandparent will fall into the role of teacher, mentor, or old friend. The old part will be easy. I think we often do two rather negative things to children. We model bad behavior, or we teach them things that are not true. (leave math to the teachers) We should be honest with the grandkids when they ask something we do not know; we should admit it. Of course, if you can make up a really fantastic but believable fable, it will be passed down as family lore. Tough choice, but honesty should rule in the long run. We should also control our expectations for a grandchild. They will have their own skills and talents and they will find what they are passionate to do with their lives. Help them learn how to be successful persons, not in what they achieve but in who they are. They may not want to go to your college, play your sport, or perform in your musical venue. Expect them to be kind and model kindness. Expect them to learn patience and be patience. Expect to them to hold a love of themselves and others and model love for them. This is the role of grandparents to model a good life. Hopefully as a good couple.
I want to leave the world I loved for my grandchildren
We have so many examples of people seeking the best preschool, the right summer camp, or other propel a child forward desires. We see the college bribe scandal; the people forcing their dreams on the kids. The helicopter parents not allowing a kid to just learn about life on their own. I hope I’m the grandparent that will give the boy a little space. I will listen and let his imagination and wonder lead me. If he wants to climb a tree, I’ll stay on the ground and watch. If the tree looks really climbable, I might join in. This would be when I might have to get bailed out by my wife. Often in parenting I required a partner. My wife has always been an excellent partner as a parent. I expect we need to follow some of the same rules of parenting in partnership to be partners in the grandparenting role. I wonder if this child will start calling me Steve just like Erik and Alex do.
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Erik Alex on Fathers Day - Describe the Steve
