Fitness and foolish stubborness combined for an awakening in a predawn beach walk run
Cartoon Mafia
Chapter 41
Painful and costly leads to wisdom and joy – 1981 Carol, Mark, Sean Finn
I went home with a waitress
the way I always do
How was I to know
she was with the Russians, too?
Send lawyers, guns, and money
Send lawyers, guns, and money
– Warren Zevon – Lawyers Guns and Money -- Warren Zevon Excitable Boy
Cartoon Mafia
Two young looking people approached me on the bench rather cautiously. I suppose they had wild imaginations of paranoia over this fraud of theirs.
“I am Mrs. Stephen Capuano, but I didn’t change my name. I am Carrol Parker. Are you two the ones I am meeting here?”
They acknowledged they were.
“I brought my neighbor from back home. It is a long drive. I was emotional and didn’t trust myself alone. We are to work out an agreement. Let us go sit down where we can discuss it. Mark has ordered coffees for us. Let’s go work this out.”
“Could I have hot chocolate?”-the soft innocence in her voice brought me a feeling of compassion.
“Yes, when we sit down. I will order you a hot chocolate.”
The boyfriend looked a little perturbed, but he went along.
“This is Mark he lives on the neighboring farm to mine. He was kind enough to drive me out here. Mark the young lady would prefer a hot chocolate would you go get her one.”
“Where’s Capuano?”-the boyfriend trying to capture a tough serious attitude.
“Stephen has signed complete authority to me. Whatever I agree to will be the deal. You may assume he and I are making some adjustments to our previous marriage arrangements. We are negotiating a legal agreement. I have documents prepared and we will agree on terms. I will write the terms in and then you will sign. Thank you, Mark,”- Mark had returned with hot chocolate and sat down.
His presence seemed to still some of the boyfriend’s aggressiveness. He began forcefully to make his demands “Your husband left this teenager with a baby.”
“You mean she is pregnant there is no baby.”
“We have the positive report from the clinic here, she will have Capuano’s baby”-as he produced a document with the pregnancy test.
“Is that the original or a copy?”
“It’s a copy I’m not stupid.”
“Good then I can keep it. Here is a biography on each of you. You are Reginald Birch Schoenfeld age 22 graduated in the class of 1976 from Stateline High School. Currently a junior in rank at the university. Here is your most current address and others in your past. You are Tara Rose Withers age 17 currently enrolled in Stateline High School; my note says graduation this Spring is unlikely."
They stared stilled by being identified so completely.
"I have a copy of a document as well"- Carol placed it on the table.
"The baby, currently fetus, is not Stephen Capuano’s. Stephen had a vasectomy many years ago. It is documented in the attached records. This week’s test proves he is unable to impregnate a woman or young lady. This also demonstrates this is completely an extortion plot upon your part. This may seem unfair, but Stephen is not culpable for any crime. You both have extensive criminal liability for a number of felonies. My brother and father are both very good lawyers. Even though you could cause Stephen Capuano embarrassment and damage his career. He would survive and you two would be in jail. Reginald would likely get twenty to thirty years. Because of your age you would undoubtedly get a lesser sentence. You would stand a fair chance of convincing a jury Reginald here coerced you into his scheme. I suspect he caused your pregnancy. "
Carol paused observed the paleness of Tara Rose and somewhat confounded look on Reggie boy.
“We all can walk away from this without harm and with a benefit to you. I have contracts that are agreements on each of our parts to not reveal any aspect of the rather unscrupulous behavior by all of you. These are legal and binding with enforcement provisions if either party breaks the agreement. You seem to have a very exaggerated opinion of Stephen Capuano’s wealth. We, or should I say I, will pay each of you a sum of money for signing and recording our agreement. You get money, we have a legal binding contract that is sealed. No one knows any of this, and we are all agreeing not to reveal anything. Therefore, we all go about a normal life. You do not go to jail; Stephen continues life with adjustments to our marriage. People who behave foolishly rarely have much wealth; this is certainly true with Stephen.”
Carol took the legal packets out of a briefcase. It was Mark’s he had thrown it in the trunk in his hurried packing. Carol saw it and realized it looked more professional than her shoulder tote.
“He is an author. He has another book coming out surely he is making bucks.”
“Stephen Capuano has a first wife. I discovered this after our marriage. She has kept the book money for the most part. If Stephen was wealthy would he still be driving that ugly little Fiat?”
Reginald was slowly realizing his plan had flaws and potential jail time was looming.
“What are you offering us?”
“I would give you a thousand dollars and Tara Rose fifteen hundred.”
“No! It is nothing. No, we will cause all kinds of stink.”
“What would you pay to avoid thirty years in a state prison with all those real tough criminals? Because you are both foolish and Tara Rose is so young. I will double my offer. I will cut a cashier’s check to you for two thousand and Tara for twenty-five hundred. Tara will undoubtedly seek an abortion. I have a card for the local planned parenthood office, they can give you good advice. It seems a nice chunk of change. No one believes jail is an attractive proposition.”
“OK, we will not be in any trouble. All we do is move on and say nothing.”
“Exactly, these will be sealed documents. None of us will be in any trouble and I will then deal with Stephen. He is not free of my retribution. You go to the law office here in town tomorrow afternoon. Mr. Simmons will have packets for you with a cashier’s check in each of your names. It may be deposited at any bank. You sign the releases and the money is yours. Everyone moves on a little wiser I believe.”
“I’ll sign; two-thousand is a nice stereo. The music should be sweet.”
“I didn’t think it would be so scary. I was just having fun. Stephen is great in the sack or anywhere with a spare moment. He knows how to touch a woman. I will take that planned parenthood card; I should talk to them.”
Carol put the signed agreements back in the briefcase.
“Here is a card to the law office for each of you. You come after two in the afternoon the checks will be there. Here is the local Planned Parenthood address and a card from the farm.”
“Your name is on the back and your farm’s address?”
“You may want to talk sometime; you can write if you do.”
“Thank you, Ms. Parker of Parker Produce and Fruit.”
Mark drove back to the law office. They met with Mr. Finn in the conference room.
“How did it go?”
“They signed dated and initialed. We now owe Reggie two-thousand and Tara Rose twenty-five hundred. I encouraged her to get an abortion.”
“It is worth the cost in the long run. It will all be over soon. Now, go have some fun.”
“We are meeting Stephen for dinner. I will bring him up to date and talk about a divorce agreement. Mark has convinced me we should stop at Antietam and Gettysburg on the way home. He wants to spend a day at each one. I think that is fun. How was Monticello?”
“Fascinating house, ‘all men are created equal’ and all those slaves. Maybe, if there were presidential pensions in his time he would have freed more of his slaves. I also love history; Mark did she tell you the good news?”
“Sorry I was so wrapped up about today. He got back late, and I forgot. Mr. Finn says there is good news with the appeal.”
“Lawrence told me as I left; the Appellate Court dismissed the prosecutor’s objections. The ruling called them merit-less and encouraged them to have relevant and substantive arguments in the presentation of the case. A real slap in the face for your tormentors. Did you learn anything in DC?"
“My friend has kept in contact with my prospects. He says if I am cleared, I will be offered a position as an Asian specialist.”
“Do you speak Chinese?”
“A little, also some Japanese.”
“Good luck then, Lawrence outlined your case a real miscarriage of justice. Carol a hell of week but it is resolving.”
“Thank you, Sean, unfortunately we will meet again.”
“At least once. Mark keep her calm at dinner, I am afraid my wife would throw bottles and pull a knife”
“Mark was fantastic at the meeting. He never said a word, but he kept a lid on them by being there. I cried the whole month of December, but now is the time to chart new courses.”
“I may run down to Appomattox Courthouse in the morning. Carol said you did when you got here.”
“It is not far, well worth a visit.”
“You men are having much entertainment at my expense, I believe.”
“A sad tale but true, it is a lawyer’s lot and our living.”
A parting handshake and we left the law office. Mark never complained when I said we would have dinner with Stephen tonight. He had never met Stephen maybe he was curious. I doubt he thought this a great idea. He was caring, patience, kind, and here to protect me.
Photo by Nancy Davis
